Pre-School

Well, the other week I finally decided I need to figure out what I need to figure out for Jase and pre school. I learned from a friends that it could take a year to even get in somewhere. I won't lie, I had a mini freak out. I feel like everything is so rushed now a days for learning and placing your kids somewhere and then once you do, is that the right place to be. Ahh, it's all a little scary, I mean Jase is only TWO!!

Originally I thought having Jase go somewhere two days a week once baby girl was here would be a nice break for both of us and a pre school type place I thought would be better then a daycare, as I'm his daycare at home and really would it be much different, except for the fact that we'd be paying someone else to watch him. Probably not! Well, this year, it looks like pre school will be a no go, but we have Jase on a waitlist for when he's three. Sigh of relief there, but now what am I going to do with a two year old to challenge his brain a bit when attending to a newborn?

Thankfully I have a friend who has sent me links of helpful tools as well as showed me great hands on items to use with Jase that I plan to do, but I can still use all the help I can get with creative fun ideas! What are you favorite pre-school aged games/learning activities? Preferable some indoor activities as well as outdoor.

<3 Lindsey

Saying Goodbye

Last week, we said goodbye.  Goodbye to our condo.  Goodbye to the place where we met.  Goodbye to the place where we fell in love.  Goodbye to the place we first brought our little girl home and figured out how to be a family of three.  Goodbye to the place where we had friends over to share laughs and food and drink.  Goodbye to home.

As far as goodbyes go, it was a pretty smooth, easy one.  We had been trying to sell the condo for two years and, after all that time, had begun to feel as if our lives were on hold.  There were so many things we were planning to do...once we got a house.  As our to-do list grew, our patience waned.  Depending on other people to swoop in and save the day was not at all a comfortable position for us to be in, so we were incredibly relieved to close on the condo just last Friday.  Our very own independence day celebration consisted of putting Sofia to bed early and indulging in champagne.  It was glorious.

Along with all of our belongings (box after box of things now stacked to the ceiling in our storage unit), we brought with us our memories of the place that was our home.  We also brought with us an incredible amount of hopefulness and excitement for our future.  Visions of new appliances and freshly planted gardens regularly dance through our heads.  We eagerly welcome the challenge of making our new house a home, bit by bit, wallpaper panel by wallpaper panel.  It will be a true labor of love.

The "we" I keep referring to here is me and Chris.  The two of us understand completely the undertaking of moving our storing our stuff, temporarily staying with his parents, moving our stuff again, unpacking it all, and beginning to live in our forever home.  Sofia, however, does not.  On our first night at Grandmom and Grandpa's house, she wailed at bedtime, "I want to go home to my house."  And just this morning she requested that I bring her home to West Deptford so that she could play with her toys.  I reminded her that last week she walked through the empty condo and saw that all of her toys were gone.  She seemed to understand what I was saying, but I expect there will be another request soon to return to the place that is no longer ours. 

Instead of focusing on having Sofia say goodbye, we have been trying to excite her about saying hello to all of the new opportunities she'll have.  When we tuck her in at night, we tell her to have sweet dreams about riding her tricycle around our driveway, running around in our fenced-in backyard, playing in her big girl room, swimming in her pool, catching fireflies at night.  We promise to take walks to Nana and Pop's house and the library in the wagon rather than driving in the car.  We rattle off all of the creatures she'll be able to see wander through our big, nature-filled yard.  We predict that she'll make great friends with Patches, the stray cat who patrols the property.  We guarantee that she will eventually become a wonderful big sister who will share everything she knows with her little brother or sister.

More than anything, we want Sofia to share in our joy at the childhood she'll have there, one that we hope will resemble our own.  We want her to feel safe and loved and happy in her new home.  At least for now, Sofia isn't concerned about any of those things, though; she would settle for having all of her toys in one place again and taking inventory.  I suppose we should be relieved that her biggest worry is their whereabouts rather than anything more existential about being uprooted.  We might even go so far as to consider that a small parental victory!  Now if only she'd use the potty...

A Remedy for Parched Mamas: Parenting in the Desert

While writing the July post I could give some practical or witty advice and it might be helpful, but in all honesty I am pretty spent. A tired, worn out mama whose soul is learning how to seek refreshment. Any other mamas out there feel me?

Some seasons as a mom are so dry, no visible fruit, sometimes accompanying metaphorical barrenness (or for me physical barrenness- as I write this I prep for a D&C tomorrow for my 3^rd miscarriage). You have nothing left to give. So what do we do? Do we push through it and accept it. Maybe. Or do we look to what we can change and accept what we cannot?  

Today my foster daughter came in my room, as she was reorganizing her things, and showed me the necklace her bio grandmother gave her several years ago. On the back was the famous Serenity Prayer:

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

The courage to change the things I can,

And the wisdom to know the difference.”

I think that this should be every mom’s anthem…I cannot change I had a miscarriage again, or that in just a handful of months I will loose another child because I am foster parent who is trying to help another family reunite. Maybe you are having to realize you cannot change that your kid is in their terrible twos.

I am learning how to gain the courage to be vulnerable because when we open up as women, as mothers, to share we are struggling, it is healing. When we share with a friend we are not enjoying a certain part of parenthood like we thought we would or should, or that we are depressed, it gives freedom in our hearts. That freedom makes small changes in those deep places.

When we voice that we need a break, mommy time, a night out, a day trip- heck a weekend away, we are saying we value our souls. We say that investing in it can change some crankiness or fatigue. Maybe it’s just me, but this is what I am learning. I have to be honest with myself and family about where I am at. I need to give myself grace and ask for grace.

What are some things you do as moms and women that refresh your soul?

“Those who refresh others will themselves be refreshed.” Proverbs 11:25

A Daddy's Role

Everyday I can see a reason to be thankful that my husband is a pretty awesome father. This last weekend was another reminder to me just how lucky Jase and I are to have a pretty amazing man in our lives.

We went to visit family in Fresno over the Holiday weekend and for once when we went to Fresno we didn't have a million things to do. On Friday, my husband's family wanted to go out on the lake, but with me being pregnant and a busy lake weekend I thought it was best to stay home, this meant daddy got to take Jase to have some fun without mommy. I love that he likes to take Jase, and though I'm sad I missed the fun, he came back with lots of pictures of Jase having a great time and thats all that matters. Beyond going to the lake we set off some fire works on Saturday and once again, my husband was all about making sure Jase was having fun. There are definitely certain times that mommy just isn't the fun one and I'm OK with that.

The relationship my husband has with Jase is almost two in half years in the making. When Jase was born he got a lot of "daddy" time when my husband would get off work and on the weekends; that has continued and evolved over the last two years. I knew before we had kids that I wanted a husband who would be active in our children lives. I grew up with a dad that I loved to be around and I wanted that for my kids.

How, we as a family, were going to make sure our kids were't super attached to me since I'd be staying home with them was something we had to figure out, especially in the beginning when they need mom a lot, but that early bonding is so important for both parents. I can't really say we "did" anything specific along the way, but here's something I think helped Jase bond with his dad, even tough he spends most of his hours with me.

1. Newborn snuggles & Toddler plas: Pretty much everyday I handed Jase off to my husband when he got home. A good reason was so I could make dinner or just eat myself with two hands. As Jase got older this turned into play time or relax time between the two of them. Today when daddy gets home, I'm dropped, usually, like a hot potato! I absolutely love seeing Jase run to his daddy and give him a hug and then proceed to follow him wherever he goes.

2. Bath time: in the very beginning we both did bath time, I mean who doesn't like to see a squishing baby in a tub?! As Jase got older, like around the time he was in a big bath and playing, my husband took over bath time on his own and would do the night time routine with Jase which included putting him to bed. At this time Jase was still waking at night, so we would both be on duty for that depending on the day and circumstances.

3. Dad and baby time outside of the house: This was easier for us in the begging as Jase was using bottles so I didn't have to be around all the time. Scott could take Jase on an errand early on and have that one on one time without me. If you're nursing mom can still leave the house for 2 hours and baby and daddy will be fine!

Mainly, I think Jase spending time with his dad and having that physical contact was a huge part of building their relationship. I will not even pretend to be an expert as Jase is our first child and with another due in October we will go through this all again and I know the outcome can be different, though I hope our little girls has a special relationship with her dad as well. Those three things, I think, are the ones that were most consistent and that I think helped a lot to build that bond.

<3 Lindsey

Just keep going.

I am a runner. I love to run  (most days)
if you are not please hold on and keep reading, it is not a blog about how to run. 

When I hit the road its usually early morning , before my husband leaves for work and while the kids are still asleep. Its my alone time, my deep thinking, clearing my mind, pep talks for myself time. I get to usually watch the sun come up, I see NO ONE and its perfect.

I am in the middle of Marathon training right now, this coming Saturday I am running longer then I have ever ran, its intimidating and scary, and challenging to just think about, let alone go out and do. I struggle with the mental battle of "can I really run that far?" and some days its a physical challenge, my legs are tired, my knee is sore, I am loosing my toenail, I have blisters on my heels from my socks rubbing for 13 miles, I have chaffing under my arms.... its not a pretty sight.

But I view running a lot like life.

Some days I am exhausted. Its hard to even get out of bed let alone put my running shoes on and take that first step out the door. 
-Life can be exhausting , it can make you so burnt out you cant even open your eyes until you have had your coffee. So tired that you feel like you are numb and don't remember actually working or playing with your kids that day. But you just got to keep going.

Its messy, some roads are dirty and there is trash and dead things along the road, I have to side step and run around those things to keep going. And sometimes its absolutely disgusting , I have to hold my breath and just run as fast as I can to get away from the smell. 
-Life is that way too, sometimes its messy . Its not perfect, it can be challenging and you have to detour just to make it. you have to side step the trash the mess around you,  But you just keep going.

Road blocks...both physical and mental happen out there during a run. Flooded roads, or fallen trees, or mental aspects of just thinking I can not take one more step , I might pass out. 
-road blocks happen in life, we know that, sometimes those roadblocks change our life, sometimes they consume all of us all of our energy, they make us into people we didn't even know we could be both good and bad. 
but we just keep going. we don't give up. 

A bad run.. I have to remind myself that even the BEST runners (which I am not) have bad and hard runs. they happen. And all I can do is try again tomorrow. Give it my all and know that I am human. 
-We have bad days in life, we have crummy stinky attitudes, we have jealousy and anger and sorrow. Some days suck. lets be real with each other sometimes you just want to start the day over. Some times we just want the next season of our life to happen. But we just have to keep moving forward. 

We don't give , we keep going. Whatever we face we become stronger, we become braver, we become warriors. Life is messy, beautiful but messy. Whatever you are facing today, whether mental, or physical , roadblocks, life let downs, sorrow, grief, joy, a hard day, a good day....just keep going. you don't think you are , but you are doing a great job.

Someone once told me, "if you think you are a bad ... wife or mother or friend or whatever it is , you're not . Because you care enough to ponder and want to be better at it." 

Its hard to not be hard on our self when we face challenges or situations BUT its how we learn and grow from them that make us who we are. So like runners, lets just keep moving, lets just keep running. One step at a time. 


Happy Monday Friends.

Nicole

Mission: Find a Yard

When we were discharged from the hospital just a day and a half after Sofia's birth, like all new parents, we cautiously packed her tiny frame into her car seat, arranging her and rearranging her.  While Daddy drove the car, Mommy sat in the back next to the baby, certain that her newly honed mothering skills would be needed during that 25 minute drive (for the record, they weren't).  When we arrived at our destination and the car was parked, we made the trek, the long, oh-so-public trek up the wind tunnel that passes for a sidewalk to our condo building, past unit after unit of other families who had done the very same thing at some point.  We made our ascent up the flight of stairs, which suddenly seemed so mountainous now that we were holding such precious cargo.  We reached our landing, shared with our neighbors from three other units, punched in our key code, opened the door, and stepped in.  We were home.

Our condo has served us well.  It houses Sofia's toys, clothes, and books, all of which seem to multiply nightly while we sleep.  It contains our wild beast of a house cat, Rufus.  It gives us a place to relax, rewind, reset.  It has been our home.   

Within a couple of months of bringing Sofia home, we put our home up for sale.  Our goal was to move into a single family home.  A place with our own driveway, fewer immediate neighbors, and a yard.  A yard filled with trees.  A yard to plant flowers and vegetables.  A yard for squirrels, chipmunks, and bunnies to frolick (species which are exotic around our condo thanks to the lack of large trees).  A yard for Chris to mow and rake, shovel and blow.  A yard for barbecues and parties.   Most importantly, a yard for Sofia to run and play and scamper.  A yard for her to have the kind of childhood Chris and I both had, one filled with the simple pleasures of swinging in the sunshine, riding bikes up and down the driveway, catching fireflies.  A yard.

Of course, we were quite hopeful at first that our condo would sell by that fall and that we would share our first Christmas as a family of three in our new home.  Summer, fall, and winter passed.  Spring came, and we were still in the condo.  This time, we were cautiously optimistic that our condo would sell by the fall and that we would get to have our second Christmas as a family of three in our new home.  Again, the seasons passed, and still we found ourselves in our condo.  By this time, Sofia was running and jumping and yearning to be outside.  So, outside we would go, walking to two little playgrounds within our complex or drawing with chalk out on the shared sidewalk.  All the while, we were dodging piles of dog poop ignored by their owners, side-stepping sticky puddles of unidentifiable liquid spilled by other children, and picking up and disposing of lots of trash - Sofia just couldn't help but to pick up bottle caps, wrappers of all colors and sizes, broken toys, abandoned snacks, and the like.  It was as if the trash beckoned to her.

After nearly two years on the market, the pressure of keeping the house tidy at all times, the seemingly endless parade of prospective buyers coming through to assess the condo, FINALLY, we received an offer, and we gladly accepted.  We were free to hunt for houses!  We looked high and low, near and far.  We drove around to scope out different neighborhoods and to size up potential neighbors.  We examined tax records and school districts.  We studied listings and photos posted online of home after home, certain that the right one was somewhere out there.  For reasons too numerable to list, each one fell short of exactly what we were looking for.  Until today.

Today, we saw a quaint, tidy house, the exterior reminiscent of a gingerbread house.  Inside, it had two full bathrooms, beautiful hardwood floors, three bedrooms, and a space to be used as a playroom.  It had lots of floral, grandmotherly wallpaper and dark pink bath tubs and toilets.  It had a smallish kitchen with decades old range and dishwasher.  It also had a yard.  A glorious, lush, green yard with lots of trees and flowers, a small pool, a sturdy white fence around a good portion of the back yard, a beautiful deck, a treehouse, a detached two car, heated garage.  A small toad crossed our path as we wandered around and reminded us that a creek was just a short ways down the road, so likely much more wildlife regularly traverses the yard.  The birds were chirping and the breeze was blowing.  We envisioned our vegetable garden off past the pool.  We staked out a spot for a swingset.  We could see Sofia learning to ride her bike in the driveway.  We knew we were home.

Summer Time Fun

Hello Mommas and Happy Monday!

If you live on the West coast you've probably realized that Summer has come, according to the heat this weekend and our local schools being out! As an adult with a child not yet in school there isn't much difference, really, besides the weather change to signal summer for us, so this weekend was a perfect transition for us!

After my husband was gone last weekend I was ready to have some fun with Jase outside as a family and with the heat I thought water involved with play would be a great idea. A couple weeks ago I saw a Instagram friend post a video of her child sliding down his slide into a pool. Amazing idea, I had to try it with Jase! We have a slide and we had a pool so all we needed was the hose!

I started to blow up the pool while my husband was cleaning the yard up and realized Jases' pool from last year had a hole, so off to Target Jase and I went. We upgraded to a larger pool, which really worked well for his age now and it only cost us $13, so I call that a win! Hubby blew up the pool and I got Jase ready to play. It turned out to be so much fun and Jase must have went down the slide about 50 times! Totally a GREAT idea!

I love summer time!!! Below are some pictures from the fun!

I'd love to hear what you do for fun in the summer time! Any traditions?

<3 Lindsey