We went to visit family in Fresno over the Holiday weekend and for once when we went to Fresno we didn't have a million things to do. On Friday, my husband's family wanted to go out on the lake, but with me being pregnant and a busy lake weekend I thought it was best to stay home, this meant daddy got to take Jase to have some fun without mommy. I love that he likes to take Jase, and though I'm sad I missed the fun, he came back with lots of pictures of Jase having a great time and thats all that matters. Beyond going to the lake we set off some fire works on Saturday and once again, my husband was all about making sure Jase was having fun. There are definitely certain times that mommy just isn't the fun one and I'm OK with that.
The relationship my husband has with Jase is almost two in half years in the making. When Jase was born he got a lot of "daddy" time when my husband would get off work and on the weekends; that has continued and evolved over the last two years. I knew before we had kids that I wanted a husband who would be active in our children lives. I grew up with a dad that I loved to be around and I wanted that for my kids.
How, we as a family, were going to make sure our kids were't super attached to me since I'd be staying home with them was something we had to figure out, especially in the beginning when they need mom a lot, but that early bonding is so important for both parents. I can't really say we "did" anything specific along the way, but here's something I think helped Jase bond with his dad, even tough he spends most of his hours with me.
1. Newborn snuggles & Toddler plas: Pretty much everyday I handed Jase off to my husband when he got home. A good reason was so I could make dinner or just eat myself with two hands. As Jase got older this turned into play time or relax time between the two of them. Today when daddy gets home, I'm dropped, usually, like a hot potato! I absolutely love seeing Jase run to his daddy and give him a hug and then proceed to follow him wherever he goes.
2. Bath time: in the very beginning we both did bath time, I mean who doesn't like to see a squishing baby in a tub?! As Jase got older, like around the time he was in a big bath and playing, my husband took over bath time on his own and would do the night time routine with Jase which included putting him to bed. At this time Jase was still waking at night, so we would both be on duty for that depending on the day and circumstances.
3. Dad and baby time outside of the house: This was easier for us in the begging as Jase was using bottles so I didn't have to be around all the time. Scott could take Jase on an errand early on and have that one on one time without me. If you're nursing mom can still leave the house for 2 hours and baby and daddy will be fine!
Mainly, I think Jase spending time with his dad and having that physical contact was a huge part of building their relationship. I will not even pretend to be an expert as Jase is our first child and with another due in October we will go through this all again and I know the outcome can be different, though I hope our little girls has a special relationship with her dad as well. Those three things, I think, are the ones that were most consistent and that I think helped a lot to build that bond.
<3 Lindsey
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