How do you discipline?

I was recently on a play date with a friend and her son, who happens to be the same age as my daughter (19 months). We were playing at the park and having a grand ole time when it started to get dark and we decided to go home. I picked up Emery and put her in her stroller to walk back while my friend attempted to do the same with her son. He was not ready to leave and was putting up quite the fight. He'd arch his back, push against the stroller, and yell as she tried to get him in. She asked him once to stop yelling and to sit down, and when he didn't listen she popped him on his booty.

Now this got me thinking. I don't believe in spanking a child because they've misbehaved, I think it can just encourage them to hit in return so when she spanked her son in front of me it caught me off guard. I was surprised she was so comfortable doing it, and that it didn't embarrass her to do it in such a public place. I started thinking about how my husband and I had disagreed on discipline in the beginning but how we'd agreed on what to do should the time come. 

Whenever my daughter misbehaves, which is quite often believe me, my husband and I decided that we'd put her in time out. We established a corner of our living room where we have a big floor pillow and that's where she goes. We explain to her why she's been put there and tell her that when she's ready to be a big girl she can get up. She sits there for maybe a minute, but I think it's important to teach her that there are consequences for your actions. She already knows after being sat there 3 times that it's not a fun spot to be. 

Aside from a time out, what are some forms of discipline you use? It breaks my heart to sit her there, she just sits and cries for mama. I just feel like if she doesn't learn this early on she'll be "that kid" in class that gets in trouble all the time for misbehaving. Am I crazy? Do any of you discipline your young children, and if so what do you do?

What's in my Diaper Bag

I don't know about you, but I know I'm a nosey curious person. One thing I am curious about is what is in other moms diaper bags and also if they like their diaper bag of choice. This prompted me to share the diaper bag I use and what I have in it. Side note: by doing this I realized there are items I really should have in my diaper bag and maybe some that aren't necessary. 

http://www.petunia.com/diaper-bags/satchels

First, lets talk about the Diaper bag itself. When I was pregnant I feel like I did research on diaper bags and asked other moms with kids already what they liked and didn't like about their diaper bag all in hopes to find the perfect bag. My needs, or so I thought at the time, were as follows: 

• daily necesities like lotions, sanitizers, rash cream, ect.
• diapers/wipes
• nursing cover
• change of clothes for baby
• burp rag
• my wallet
• Chapstick 
• water bottle for myself 
• wet bag

After all of my efforts to find, what I thought would be, the best diaper bag for me I settled on the Sashay Satchel made by Petunia Pickle Bottom in Black. When Jase was a fresh little newborn this bag was GREAT, it worked just as I expected, the bag fit all the needs for my newborn and self. Then we has struggles with breastfeeding (I won't got into that here, but if interested in reading that click here), Jase had reflux which caused him spit up a lot and frequently he was having massive poopplosions. All of that added these things to my diaper bag:

• A lot more burp rags 
• Bibs
• About 2-3 outfits for Jase depending on how long we'd be out
• Bottles
• Formula

At this point, I needed to now have the diaper bag and purse with me. All this along with a newborn, I really wished I'd gotten a bigger diaper bag. But, today, I realize that my needs as mom are changing what I like and don't like about my diaper bag daily. Sometimes it's perfect, other days I feel like I need more space in there. At Jases age now, I mostly leave the diaper bag in the car and just throw a few rings in my purse when were out and about. This seems to work for now. So, without further ado, here's whats in my toddler diaper bag!

Everything thats in the Diaper Bag - Out of the Diaper Bag

The Basics: Diapers, Wipes, Changing Pad and Sanitizer

Other Basics: Sanitizing wipes, Lotion, Sunscreen, Rash Cream

Snack and Bibs: Water Cup, Snack Cup, Random Snacks and TWO bibs. My child often refuses bibs, so I carry options!

Sunglasses and Wet Bag

Kleenex - Last minute add. I forgot I bought more the other day and so it wasn't in my bag when I pulled everything out.

So, there it all is! I mentioned earlier in the post what I was missing. Did you figure it out? A BACK UP SET OF CLOTHES! Seriously, this could be dangerous! Confession time: I took out his 12 month back up the other day a long time ago, and never put a new back up in. He's wears 2T now, I better go put some clothes in there soon!

Whats diaper bag do you have? What's in it? Love, hate it? Do tell! Also does anyone have reviews they'd love to share on either of these two diaper bags below? 

http://www.skiphop.com/product/duosignaturediaperbag.html

http://shop.ju-ju-be.com/legacy-be-prepared/

<3 Lindsey

ABC's and 123's

When my sisters and I were little, my mom had this tape she would play over and over whenever we were in the car. It had all these different songs on it like counting, rhyming, nursery rhymes, etc. It seemed pretty lame back then, but it did teach us a lot. 

When I found out I was pregnant, I vowed I would teach my daughter whenever and wherever possible. Every opportunity would become a learning experience! We sing things, we dance around, I ask her to get the "red ball" to practice our colors...I don't know if it's the preschool teacher in me or the fear that she won't be prepared when she goes to school but I want to teach her things as young as I can. 

Which takes me back to that "lame" tape. Well I found it on iTunes. And I bought it. And guess what? It's still a little lame, but it's so educational! Barbara Milne is one smart lady. She's got this song, "Letter Sounds (Apple, Apple, aaa)" where she goes through all the letters of the alphabet. She says a word the letter starts with followed by the sound the letter makes. It's seriously amazing. 

It's a song we've been singing to our daughter since she was born whenever she's taking a bath and for some reason it became a very comforting song for her. For the first year of her life if she became cranky, you could sing that song and she'd be out by "k". Now that's she's older, she can sing all the words through "g"! The whole album is pretty great, she counts by 10's, counts sheep, does math. We play it all the time, just like my mom did for me and my sisters. After hearing my daughter sing along, I am a true believer in this album and will continue to play it for her and any other kids I have :)

Nose Frida aka Snot Sucker

I decided to write today about one of my favorite baby items. I definitely have long list of favorites, but right now this is my current favorite as Jase has a cold. Have you heard of the Nose Frida?

It is an amazing invention that sucks snot out of your child's nose. It sounds disgusting, I know, but don't knock it until you try it. The cold Jase has right now is a bad one. Head and chest cold, but the stuffed nose is just relentless. Jase has sort of figured out how to blow his nose, but let's face it he's a toddler, he's doesn't exactly blow hard enough to get a lot of the gross, nasty snot good stuff out. This genius product helps a baby or toddler, in this case.

I will be honest and tell you Jase doesn't exactly like the process of the sucking, but I can tell he knows it helps him. At his age now he lets me use this, but helps me hold it and sort of tells me when I am allowed to start sucking. I assume it doesn't feel that great while it happens, but he can tell after he can breath a bit better.

Anyways, if you haven't purchased this, go get it now! It's a great product!

<3 Lindsey

*I am not being paid to write about this product, I just really like it!*

The Urge to go Mama Bear

As a first time mom, every milestone in my son's life is new to me. You hear the stories of the terrible twos and hope you're an exception. However, sometimes you're not so lucky. My son Jake will be two in April, and recently he started hitting and biting. Luckily for others, it's mostly directed at me, although he is starting to get daring with his grandmothers when it comes to throwing inanimate objects at them. I always thought it would be so easy to nip in the butt, but as many parents know, it's not as easy as one thinks. I tried ignoring, I tried time outs, nothing seems to work. Although I believe my latest attempt at holding his wrists and firmly telling him not to hit or bite is starting to slightly lessen the frequency of the "attacks."

Fast forward to yesterday. I'm with Jake at The Little Gym, and right off the bat this kid Charlie, who is probably a month or two older than my son, runs up to him and slaps Jake in the chest. Jake just stands there with a sad look on his face with his lower lip quivering. Charlie runs up to his nanny crying because he hurt his hand. As bad as it sounds, I was happy to see the kid crying after putting his hands on my son. Later on he hit Jake again and moved on to do something else after his nanny scolded him not to hit.

At the end of the class, Charlie walked up to Jake and lifted up his shirt to look at Jake's belly. Weird, but hey, kids are weird. After class the two were playing with Legos next to each other completely fine. I kept my mouth shut while this little boy put his hands on my son, since his nanny did the scolding, but it was difficult. I had to keep reminding myself he was the same age as Jake, and was doing the same thing that Jake does to me, except without teeth. Does anyone else find themselves hypocritical when it comes to raising kids? I'm not usually like that, I don't get hostile about kids who throw tantrums in the dairy aisle at the grocery store or anything. But when it comes down to something personal like a child hitting yours, is your first instinct to go mama bear on them? The only thing I can hope for is that this does not happen again, and maybe Jake will learn it's not nice to hit. Then again the terrible twos are probably going to last awhile. Especially with someone who is three months shy of turning two.

Teething

 I want to punch teething right in the face! Every time we get our daughter back into her nightly routine, she gets more teeth. We'll have a few weeks where everything is perfect...bath time goes smoothly, pj's and brushing teeth go smoothly, she sleeps all night in her big girl bed, and then BAM! we see four teeth poking through. And it's never a quick process is it? It seems like it takes forever for those darn teeth to come all the way out of her gums. 

I've tried letting her chew on those little net things, doesn't work. We tried teething toys, she hates them. I give her frozen go-gurts, she likes them until it starts melting down her hand and then she's done. I hate resorting to Tylenol but there are times where you can just tell she doesn't feel good. What do you do for your little ones when they're obviously so miserable?

I know this process is coming to an end, but it just doesn't seem like it will come soon enough! I'm ready for my little one to be in a good nighttime routine, especially since we plan on having another baby! I can't imagine having two little babies up all night, I might as well just give up sleeping now. 

I'd love to hear how you help your little teethers feel better!

Randi 

What is a successful parent?

There is a song that frequents my favorite Pandora channel which has lyrics that always jump out at me, ”As the years go by and You look back on all I’ve done let me be found faithful…” In my two and a half years of parenting this idea of faithfulness vs success has become my motto. Jumping into parenting a 5 year old (now 7) with no prior experience has been the biggest blessing and the greatest challenge I had ever experienced. It has forced me to be very intentional as about parenting.

Becoming a first time parent through adoption gives you the unique opportunity to learn some things about parenting in required classes. While taking some additional trainings for people parenting kids from hard places, I had the opportunity to read a general parenting book I wish every mom could read. Parenting is Your Highest Call and 8 Other Myths That Trap Us in Worry and Guilt showed me that I didn’t have to be so hard on myself. As moms, I think we beat ourselves up too much. When our child does something good we feel good about ourselves, when our child makes a poor decision we are disappointed- sometimes not just in them.

What happens when we see parents who have adult children (or children 10 years ahead of ours) who are making all the right choices in life? We look at those parents and say, “Now that is a successful parent!” We ask to meet them for coffee and we write down every little thing that they did as parents so we too can be “successful parents with successful children.” 

But what about that parent who does all they can to train their child ‘in the way they should go’ and they still make poor decisions. Or what if their child continually struggles or acts out? Are they not a successful parent? Not always...

We all love our kids so much and want the best for them, but are we being too hard on ourselves as parents? I am realizing that I am not called to be a successful parent. I am called to be a faithful parent. Am I faithful in teaching my daughter, and future kids, what they need to know? Did I pray for, disciple, hug, play, correct as I am called to do? If I can stand at the end of my life and say those things, then I have parented 'successfully.' It doesn’t matter what decisions my child makes, it does not define who I am as parent. At that to me is so freeing...a sweet surrender.

Morning Routine

Forgive me for such a late post. I've been sick and now my baby boy has it, so I've been out of it for a couple of days. I'm feeling better now though!

Lately I've been thinking about my morning routine and about how I don't have one. When I was working I had the same routine everyday:

• alarm went off
• I woke up
• Brushed my teeth
• got dressed
• ate breakfast
• filled my coffee cup at home 
• OR left in time for Starbucks
• Went to work

I basically did that for a long time, before just work it was school and work and before that, just school. You'd think having a routine everyday for as long as I can remember I would still have one, but NOPE. My morning routine now:

• Wait for Jase to wake
• get up

That's it! Literally, from there it depends on the day how ready I get. On days that we have nothing going on, I usually don't get dressed until Jase naps. I do this because then I can get dressed in peace without worrying what Jase is getting into. On days we have errands to run or Moms Group we get ready in the morning and it's a struggle with a toddler running around! 

So what are your morning routines mommas? I'd love to have something that is more consistent!

<3 Lindsey

Choosy moms choose...?

Choices.  Since childhood, I have relished the opportunity to make my own.  I have always regarded it as a right rather than an opportunity, one afforded to me by my good fortune to have been born here in the U.S.  I chose to attend college, where to attend, what to study and how to spend my free time.  I choose whether or not to vote in governmental elections, and I choose for whom I cast my vote.  I chose to pursue a serious romantic relationship with a wonderful man, and I chose to have his baby, to build a family with him.  Little did I realize at the time that the decision to have a baby would just create a seemingly never ending daily array of choices that I would be making on someone else's behalf.  That opportunity is not so relished.

As a stay-at-home mom, most of the daily responsibility of caring for Sofia falls to me.  I make breakfast, lunch and dinner.  I schedule her doctor appointments and playdates.  I do the grocery shopping and other errands with a toddler (and snacks) in tow.  I change her diapers and dress her, sometimes multiple times a day.  I read books to her (often the same three over and over again), I kiss her boo-boos, I dry her tears, I carry her around on my hip.  Along with those responsibilities come many choices:  what, when and how much I should feed her; when I should go shopping and what I should buy; what clothes she will wear; what lines/pages of her books I should skip over on the second, third, fourth, and fifth consecutive readings; when she really should be carried around versus when she should just try to occupy herself - the list goes on and on.  Most of these choices are easy enough to make and come as second nature by now as she is almost 21 months old.  It's the larger, more serious choices with which I struggle.

Just this weekend, while playing with her daddy (that wonderful man I mentioned earlier), Sofia sustained an injury to her left arm.  After a fair amount of tears and toddler hysterics, it became clear that while she was not comfortable, she was not in pain as she allowed us to squeeze her hand and rotate her wrist, elbow and shoulder.  Still, she wouldn't use her arm - not to high five, not to bear any weight, and, perhaps most tellingly of all, not to accept a snack.  Instead, it just hung limply by her side.  We both felt that Sofia needed some medical attention, but a trip to the emergency room seemed like overkill and definitely something to be avoided right now while the flu epidemic is raging.  We placed calls to several nearby urgent care centers, and either they wouldn't treat patients her age or they couldn't treat those types of injuries.  So, after speaking with a family member who is a pediatrician, we chose to skip a trip to the hospital, unless of course her condition worsened.  We both agonized over whether or not this was the smart choice, the right choice, even a good choice.  In the end, our choice was a safe one (this time) - Sofia started to use her arm again without any issue within 48 hours and quickly resumed engaging in monkey-like shenanigans around the house.

The choices we make for Sofia won't always turn out as well; we won't always luck out.  At least once or twice, we will likely choose poorly for her.  We will aim not to, of course, but we would be fools to expect that we will always have the foresight or good fortune to choose correctly.  My hope is that whenever we are faced with making a big choice for her that we will do so with love and care and that we will not allow expedience or convenience to influence us.  We must remember not to make the self-serving choices we normally would for ourselves but instead to consider Sofia's well-being first and foremost.  Of course, most parents probably aspire to achieve the same goal; I know that we aren't unique in this way.  I do believe this to be one of the greatest challenges of parenthood, though, and I hope that when she is old enough and experienced enough to understand all of this (likely not until she becomes a mother herself), she'll realize that we tried to do our best for her.  I hope that she will choose to forgive us our poor choices just as readily as she will choose to celebrate our good ones. 

For now, I will choose to savor the opportunity to make choices for Sofia rather than regard it as burdensome, because much sooner than I will care to admit, she will be yearning to make choices for herself, and that's when the real worry will begin.

One Fit Mama

Before my daughter was even born, I told myself that once I had her I would not only get my pre-baby body back but also lose extra weight on top of that. Well, she's 18 months and I've only checked off half of that promise. I've tried counting calories, I've tried Weight Watchers, I've tried waking up early to go running...none of it has worked! Granted, I've lost weight and am down to my pre-baby weight but I don't feel like my body looks the same. 

A friend and I have recently started meeting up in the afternoons for a mile long walk and a p90x3 session. Ho-ly cow I didn't even know some of these muscles even existed! I'm only a week in and I've never been so sore in my life. What was I thinking?! I'll tell you what I'm thinking...I'm thinking, I'm tired of not feeling like myself. I'm tired of not feeling "pretty". I'm tired of being tired! Working out is supposed to release endorphins and help you feel better and guess what? I do. I feel more confident about myself. I lost 12 pounds doing Weight Watchers and now that I've been exercising more seriously I notice a difference in how my body looks. 

 

What tips do you mamas have for fitting in some workout time? Do you go on walks with your family? Have mommy time and go to the gym? Wake up early? One of my New Years resolutions was to be a better time manager which is something I really struggle with. Hopefully I'm able to keep up with my new workout routine and good luck to any other mamas trying to get back in shape!

New Beginnings

With new beginnings also comes 'end of eras...'
The end of one year and all of it's struggles, defeats, blessings, heartbreaks, triumphs...

The end of the old me, and making promises to myself to be a better mom, to lose the baby weight (mind you, my daughter will be 2 in a few months!), to buy a house, to become more organized...the list goes on. The end of breastfeeding my babe after 20 months (so bittersweet)...

The new beginnings...the hope of the future. I always have lists upon lists going but rarely seem like I can finish one in its entirety. It's definitely something I am working towards becoming better at...call it a New Year's resolution if you want. On the flip side, I find myself holding onto the past...robbing me of all of today's joys. I think it is something all moms do to an extent...wishing our babies small again, longing for them to need us again. I urge all mamas, myself included, to embrace the end of eras and look towards each new day with a fresh perspective and the goal of always being better than yesterday. 

What are things that you are looking forward to this year? What are your 'end of eras?'

Hope everyone is having a great start to 2015! 

xo Jamie

Big Kid Bed

To make the switch from crib to big boy bed or not?! It's in serious debate over at our house right now. Jase has, for the most part, been a great sleeper, but lately (as in the last two weeks) he is having a hard time going to sleep and staying asleep all night. Usually we can tell the problem be it teething, not feeling well, ect, but these last two weeks the only constant thing we can tell is Jase wants one of us in the room with him. It was so bad the other night that I ended up in the crib with him because I just wanted a little sleep.

The idea of switching Jase to a big boy bed has been on both mine and my husbands mine for a while now. Originally we were going to wait until he started to climb out, but that has yet to happen. Then we thought about it when I became pregnant as I was having a hard time laying Jase in his crib without resting on my stomach. That is not an issue anymore, so we were back to just leaving him in his crib as it was working. Well, it's just not working at the moment and we don't know how long this moment will last, so there lies our decision to make.

Why can we not just decide? We'll we're gun shy! What if moving him to a big boy bed make sleep worse? Will we have to deal with him trying to leave his room in the middle of the night? Will we end up sleeping with him every night?

My husband and I had last talked about waiting until Jase turned TWO, to make the big move, but I feel it might be coming sooner. So parents who have a toddler not sleeping in a crib, how's it going? How did you make the big move? Let me also mention we will be switching his room. When we moved in this house we didn't know that the room we picked for Jase is the hottest in summer and coldest in winter. So when Jase trasitions to a big boy bed we're also switching rooms. How do we go about that?

Help a momma out!

<3 Lindsey

Our Trick to Peaceful Car Rides (Short and Long)

Happy New Year, all! Zoë has never been a fan of car rides. I can't say I blame her, since I, too, hate car rides. Unfortunately, car rides are just part of life (unless you're in a big city like New York, I suppose). Now, I'm not a big on letting my daughter watch TV or other screen forms, but unless she's asleep, videos are the only thing that seem to keep her complacent during a car ride.

My aunt was nice enough to give Zoë her old Samsung Tab 3 and it has been such a great gift (for Zoë and us adults). I've loaded it up with a number of different videos, most of which are educational, and the other bunch are Disney movies with the exception of three: 2 versions of Classical Baby and Madagascar. The choice of movie depends on her mood. If she's awake and has no possibility of falling asleep, I go for Signing Time or this ABC video from YouTube. If she's getting tired, I put on Classical Baby which is an HBO production. It's cute; it's an animation of a baby conducting an orchestra performing a bunch of different classical music compositions and for each song, they have a different short video story to go along with it. (I'm not sure that made much sense, but I don't know how to describe it any better...sorry.)

When we go out of town, we time our trip around her naps or nighttime sleep schedule. If she happens to wake up on a long trip, that's when I go for the longer movies. She's really into Mary Poppins, which I absolutely love and could never tire of. She was into Frozen for about a week or two, but (thankfully) she tired of that. She also enjoys Cinderella, The Lion King, and Madagascar.

One thing I've noticed, is that she is especially not a fan of her convertible car seat for nighttime trips where she's sleeping. I'm not exactly sure why, but the last trip we took with her in that seat was AWFUL. I felt so bad. We pulled over for a while, but being that it was night time, there wasn't a lot of options for us. Fortunately, the drive home wasn't as bad, but we certainly learned our lesson that until she grows out of her infant car seat, that will be what we use for trips out of town.

How does your little one do with car rides? If they're like Zoë, what do you do to placate them?