Toddler Tantrums

Bless the sweet middle-aged lady in the grocery who saw my exasperated look while my little girl screamed at the top of her lungs in the middle of a tantrum.  This lady told me to take a deep breath and it will be ok.  She looked at me with understanding, a look that only another mother could give.  She'd been there.  She likely missed those days now that her kid(s) were probably grown and on their own.  I will too, one day.  But for now, days pass and all I feel like I do is go in circles and discipline her nonstop, and when naptimes and bedtimes are my time to recharge and recover.

I am a first time mom, but I do have younger siblings and have done quite a bit of nannying in the past.  I have always said I would never be one of those parents who counts to three (and then does nothing), gives "empty threats" or doesn't follow through with consequences.  I just don't think it's effective.  Don't get me wrong, there is a lot to be said for picking your battles.  And lately I've been a little lot more selective...I can't drink wine every night!  :)  

There are several techniques that I use to discipline Ellie.  In no particular order...

• Firm voice saying "NO" and telling her "if you do that again (or if you don't stop __________), I will ________________."
• Following through with above warning if it happens again.
• One warning on bad behavior and straight to time-out.  "You are in time-out because you didn't listen/hit mommy in the face/hit yourself in the face" (we have a hitting problem right now!)
• Ignoring the behavior (such as screaming or other "unpleasant" behavior but not necessarily "bad" behavior)
• Mommy time-outs.  Very necessary when I feel myself losing my patience/temper.  

As much as these tantrums and testing boundaries sure test my sanity, I really do believe that one day I'll miss these days.  I'll miss the cuddles at night as I rock her to sleep and silently wonder how I could have ever possibly been frustrated or upset with her earlier that day.  

I hope that I will be like the lady in the grocery store-tomorrow or in the years to come.  Someone who gives an understanding look or words of encouragement to a mother who is on the verge of having a meltdown themselves.  I hope that we (all of us moms) don't judge the other mom in the store who has a kid that is screaming their head off.  Give that Mama a tender look, a smile; remind her that she isn't alone.  Trust me, it goes a long way.

xo Jamie